There comes a time in every womans life when the world comes to an end…the faded, comfortable jeans that you have spent years cultivating into your best friend have decided to give up and go to a better place. This just happened to me and for weeks I denied it. I kept wearing then knowing that any moment I might just sit down and hear that horrible tearing sound. Not the knees, not the butt but in the area at the top of your legs where the two legs are sewn together…not just the jeans I would have to worry about but my bikini line too!!!!
I love my jeans – they are the most comfortable thing to wear and they tell me I am home when I slide them on. But shopping for them is just a totally different story. I am not a shopper at the best of times but jeans are just about the worst shopping every known to woman.
After taking a few deep breaths, I prounounced to my husand I was going jeans shopping. You could have heard a pin drop as he contemplated the right response and also how to ensure that he wasnt home when I got back. (internal monologue…thats great honey, but my mother needs me this afternoon so I will be back next Tuesday).
So dressed in my weekend mum outfit, jeans, tee, cardigan and trusty Cons (my other best friends), I proceeded to the mall with a sense of trepidation. Was it a good day to go, would there even be anything I liked, was the mirror going to be kind and the jeans hug my shape making me look like Elle McPherson???
Now having had a few too many glasses of wine the night before, may have strengthened my resolve to find my new best friends but as the morning wore on and the frustration mounted, the headache kicked in. Definately not a good idea – may have been better the night before when the wine was in full effect!!
To be honest, it was a funny experience, I am not a weird shape, infact more of a boy shape than a curvy woman and I am not sure who designs jeans for women but I am not sure they have ever met any??? Some jeans were too short, some too long. Some were great fit on the waste but I could have stored 6 legs of ham in the butt of them. Infact one pair actually brought on an attack of the giggles in the dressing room which had me in tears..who thought not hemming the jeans (which finished mid calf by the way) and flaring them, plus making the ends look like i had been in Castaway with Tom Hanks was a good idea? Seriously????? And to make it even funnier, when I asked the shop assistant if they had the same fit of jean without the unusual ankles (what?? I could not think of any other way to describe them??) they looked at me like I had not taste. Hence another fit of giggles as I left the store with tears running down my face.
Finally – one store which is well known for its selection of jeans came up trumps. The shop assistant was over the age of being able to buy a bottle of wine and knew exactly what I wanted. JEANS, just jeans!! Two of the same pair, paid and in a nice little bag and I left the shop…lets hope I dont have to do this for another couple of years…
PS – still have my old ones but resolved to only wear at home…just in case!