SAHM v Working Mum

Bit of furore over this post this week on the Mumsnet forum.  Always been a huge debate topic and as a working mum who has been a SAHM also I can see both sides.  I do however believe that it is one of these topics where there will always be a disagreement and will always cause desention in the ranks of mums everywhere.

Yes I work, yes I have three school age children and yes I still need to do all the jobs that need to be done – not just around the house but also the errands and the after school activities.  Its just the time to get these jobs done that is shorter and I also have to drag my children around after school to do it on the days where I do pick up.  Sure I could have a day where I finish work a bit early to be able to get these errands done sans kids but then I would miss out on my mummy time and would end up having to pay for someone to either pick up and look after the kids or an after school club.  Dragging them around is cheaper option though not sure I can class it as quality time with all the shouting (them and me) that goes on!!!

I also dont have a cleaner (unless you count me as it!) or a gardener (does my husband count?) or any kind of help that people seem to expect two income families to have. Don’t get me wrong, I have tried to see how this would work but I just cant make the sums compute.  I could have one but then we would miss out on something else.  For me it was about priorities and what is important in life.  For the time it takes to clean the house, and my house is definitely not the cleanest one I have seen, I would rather be able to take the kids out for day, buy then something fun just because or shock horror, treat myself or my husband.

The sums also work for us as we both have flexible jobs where we dont have spend alot of childcare after school.  Sometimes the sums just dont work and going back to work costs more than staying home.  Its not always the way for everyone and what is the point of being at work for a lousy $20 a week after tax and all costs.  It is just not worth it – better giving back and doing some volunteer work during the school hours and still being there at the end of the day.

I also choose to work because I enjoy my brain being active.  Whilst I complain about the ground hog kind of days I have, I am not cut out for staying home.  I am not a domestic goddess, not into sports, and definitely not a lady who lunches.  So work for me is actually a way to be a grown up, not shout at anyone and use the brains I was given.

But thats my opinion and was my decision on what was right for me.  For others being a SAHM is the right thing and I dont think we should judge people on what they choose is right for their family…because doing what is right for your family is what counts in the end. #worrywomen



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